“I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.”

Derek Landy

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“Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.'I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,' he explained, and pointed to the second sofa across the room. 'Unfortunately, it would appear that that is the sofa bed, and this, apparently, is just a sofa.”


“Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”


“This is your last chance to do the right thing.''Do you want to attack first, or will I?'Skulduggery held up a finger. 'Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?' 'By all means.'Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. 'Damn,' he whispered. 'She's not going to do the right thing.''Did you really think she would?''I was really hoping.''Can we beat her?' Valkyrie asked.'I don't like our chances.''What are our chances?''We don't have any,' Skulduggery admitted. 'Do you think you can take Craven on your own?' 'No.''Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?''I like that idea even less.''I don't blame you.' She sighed. 'We're going to get killed, aren't we?''It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.''They're staring right at us.''Dammit.' Skulduggery straightened up. 'We have discussed the situation,' he said to them, 'and decided that it would be in everyone's best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit.”


“You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery”


“Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.''Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting.”


“You're in a bad mood,' Skulduggery said. 'I understand. I do. You're saying things that you don't really mean. It's OK.''I'll kill you both.''Hurtful things said in the heat of the moment. We're not going to hold it against you, Bison. We're all friends here.'Valkyrie nodded. 'We love you Bison.' 'We do,' Skulduggery agreed. 'You're our favourite Necromancer. You're the cuddly one.''Shut up,' Dragonclaw said. 'Both of you just shut up.”