“Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t even asked me any normal questions.”“Normal questions? Like what?”“Like, I don’t know, like if Lynch had any enemies.”“Did Lynch have any enemies?”“Well, not that I know of, no.”“Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn’t want to distract me, did you, Kenny?”“No, that’s not—”“Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?”“I don’t know what you’re—”Inspector Me leaned forward. “Did you kill him?”“No!”“It’d be OK if you did.”Kenny recoiled, horrified. “How would that be OK?”“Well,” Me said, “maybe not”

“The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”“I am.”“Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”“Sure,” Kenny said, slightly baffled.“Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I suddenly accuse you of murder.”

“I don’t know what your type is. I don’t know what your deal is. I don’t even know if you have a boyfriend. I know I like you and I want to be in yourlife, that’s it, and if you have any room for a boyfriend, I would like to be your boyfriend, and if you don’t have any room, I would like to be your friend.Any room you have for me in your life is great. If you would like me to start out in one room and move to another, I could do that.”

“Why didn't you kill me like you did that guy back there? Billy? Or does it even make any sense to ask? Are you beyond why?'Oh shit, we're all beyond why, you know that.”

“I haven’t had time,” I said, exasperated. “As soon as I remembered, I came straight here.” Ryan turned to face me before clicking on the results. Ididn’t like the way he was suddenly looking very suspiciously at me. “You were really upset…” he prompted, but I didn’t know what he wanted me tosay.“Your point?”“My point is, when you freaked out you came straight to me for help. That is the most girlfriendy thing ever. I don’t know why you won’t just acceptwhat you are.”

“You don’t really hate me…do you?” he asked.“Sometimes I wish that I did. It would make everything a whole hell of a lot easier.”“So what pisses you off more? What I did to make you wanna hate me? Or knowing that you can’t?”