“Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.'I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,' he explained, and pointed to the second sofa across the room. 'Unfortunately, it would appear that that is the sofa bed, and this, apparently, is just a sofa.”

Derek Landy

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“I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.”


“Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires."Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?""We don't talk about vampires," Skulduggery warned."But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-""We don't talk about vampires!" Valkyrie said sharply.Ryan shrunk back. "Sorry," he said."Don't worry about it," Skulduggery told him. "Valkyrie used to date a vampire that's all.""We didn't date ," Valkyrie said immediately.Skulduggery held a hand up. "I'm not judging."Valkyrie scowled.”


“I should go in alone," Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official.""So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring.""You're standing on the roof of a train," Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out."Fine," he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long.”


“Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.”Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.”


“Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.”“If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re notgoing to hurt you’. Idiot.”“He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.”The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.“You’re... You’re not going to kill me?”“No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.”


“This is your last chance to do the right thing.''Do you want to attack first, or will I?'Skulduggery held up a finger. 'Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?' 'By all means.'Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. 'Damn,' he whispered. 'She's not going to do the right thing.''Did you really think she would?''I was really hoping.''Can we beat her?' Valkyrie asked.'I don't like our chances.''What are our chances?''We don't have any,' Skulduggery admitted. 'Do you think you can take Craven on your own?' 'No.''Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?''I like that idea even less.''I don't blame you.' She sighed. 'We're going to get killed, aren't we?''It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.''They're staring right at us.''Dammit.' Skulduggery straightened up. 'We have discussed the situation,' he said to them, 'and decided that it would be in everyone's best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit.”