“Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”“We make a great team.”“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.”

“Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.”“If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re notgoing to hurt you’. Idiot.”“He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.”The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.“You’re... You’re not going to kill me?”“No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.”

“I also think Valkyire’s ex-boyfriend will come in handy here.”Ravel frowned, “The dead vampire?”Valkyrie glared at him, “I think he means Fletcher.”“Oh. Sorry.”“Caelen was never my boyfriend.”“I didn’t mean to-““We never talk about Caelen,” Ghastly muttered.”“I’m really sorry, Valkyrie, Ravel said. “Fletcher’s great. He’s wonderful. I’m sure he’d be delighted to help, and having a teleporter here will certainly solve some problems. We’ll arrange that, we’ll get him over to you, start the ball rolling, as it were. Once again, sorry about bringing up the vampire.”Ghastly shot him a look whispered, “Why do you keep talking about him?”“I can’t help it,” Ravel whispered back. “Now he’s all I can think about.”“You realise,” Valkyrie said, “that we can hear you both perfectly well.”

“Ah...Dectective, this is a very private and personal moment for them both. I'm sure you can understand their need for-"A man stumbled out clutching a sheet round his waist and Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Whoa," she said as he hummed into a table. He was tall and sandy-haired and his physique was jaw-dropping lay amazing. "No way," she said. "Scapegrace?"The man looked at her, and shook his head. The a woman came charging out of the back room, slammed into the man and they both went rolling across the floor."Give it to me!" The woman screamed. "Give it to me!"Nye scuttled over. "Mr Scapegrace, you know the procedure cannot be repeated, your brains are in far too deteriorated a condition.""You! Gave! Me! The! Wrong! Body!”

“Now, before you begin to worry, the section of the gaol that I’m standing in is completely secure. No problems here. I’m not in any danger whatsoever.”“And the section I’m standing in?”“Well,” he said, “the important thing to remember is that I’m perfectly safe.”Valkyrie sighed. “I’m stuck in here with the bad guys, aren’t I?”“Or you could be glass-half-full about it and say that they are stuck in there with you. Which might make you feel better.”

“Skulduggery.""Fletcher."Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment."I'm sorry, what are we doing now?""Shaking hands," Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know."You look a lot like him.""Well, yeah, but-""And you have the same ridiculous hair.""Can we just shake hands?""Of course we can," Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?""I, uh...I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?""Generally, the first thing they do is let go.""Oh, right," Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie."It's blue.""And such a nice shade."Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying.”

“Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires."Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?""We don't talk about vampires," Skulduggery warned."But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-""We don't talk about vampires!" Valkyrie said sharply.Ryan shrunk back. "Sorry," he said."Don't worry about it," Skulduggery told him. "Valkyrie used to date a vampire that's all.""We didn't date ," Valkyrie said immediately.Skulduggery held a hand up. "I'm not judging."Valkyrie scowled.”