“You have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that?""I try my best.”

“I love you.''I'm a little stuck for words here,' she said. 'I'm just trying to get my head around it, trying to find the right way for... Okay, yeah, I have it now. Caelan, cop on to yourself.''But I love you.' 'Here we go.' 'When will you admit that you are in love with me too?''I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good looking and mildly stupid brick wall. Look, I like you okay? I think you're cute. You could probably ease up on the brooding self-loathing, though. That stopped being attractive a while ago. But, I mean, on the whole, I like you, and you like me-''I love you.''Yeah, well...”

“Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.”“If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re notgoing to hurt you’. Idiot.”“He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.”The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.“You’re... You’re not going to kill me?”“No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.”

“Clarabelle...Clarabelle... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?''One of the. He fired all the others.''But not you?''He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.''And then you killed him.''Yes.''A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.''Yes.'Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.''Can I have Mondays off?''You may.”

“Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eighth or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise you know? 'oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought”

“Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t even asked me any normal questions.”“Normal questions? Like what?”“Like, I don’t know, like if Lynch had any enemies.”“Did Lynch have any enemies?”“Well, not that I know of, no.”“Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn’t want to distract me, did you, Kenny?”“No, that’s not—”“Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?”“I don’t know what you’re—”Inspector Me leaned forward. “Did you kill him?”“No!”“It’d be OK if you did.”Kenny recoiled, horrified. “How would that be OK?”“Well,” Me said, “maybe not”

“He is the best, in my whole life i have only read his books!!!!!!”