“You said I was your number-one pick.""And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.”

“I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.''My accent?''It is quite silly.''So you can't understand me?''Not a word.''Then how did you understand that?''I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?''That's right.''You understood that, though.''Not at all.'The American glowered.”

“Valkyrie dialed Skulduggery's number and he picked up. 'Hey,' she said, 'It's me.'Skulduggery paused. 'No it's not. If it were me, then I'd be talking to myself, and I don't do that any more. I certainly don't RING myself. That's one of the first signs of madness, and if it's not, it should be.'She sighed. 'Are you finished talking nonsense?''I haven't talked nonsense all morning. I miss it.”

“You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.''No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.''Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now.”

“He said a bad word. Do you want to know what it was? It started with F. It's not the one you're thinking of, though. To the other one. The one that ends with P. do you want to know what it was? It was troop." She frowned. "Wait that's not a word.”

“You're in a bad mood,' Skulduggery said. 'I understand. I do. You're saying things that you don't really mean. It's OK.''I'll kill you both.''Hurtful things said in the heat of the moment. We're not going to hold it against you, Bison. We're all friends here.'Valkyrie nodded. 'We love you Bison.' 'We do,' Skulduggery agreed. 'You're our favourite Necromancer. You're the cuddly one.''Shut up,' Dragonclaw said. 'Both of you just shut up.”

“You want to see safe hands?' her dad asked. He went to the fruit bowl on the side of the table, took two apples and proceeded to juggle them. 'See? Safe as anything.' 'Are you proposing you juggle our newborn child?''Of course not,' he said. 'I'd only be able to juggle her if you'd had twins. Otherwise it would just be throwing.'(...) 'From this moment on, I will be the best father the world has ever seen. Wifey, may I please hold my child?' Valkyrie's mum looked at him suspiciously. 'When you hold a baby, what's the most important thing to remember?''Not to drop it,' he said proudly.'Well, yes, well done dear, but I was thinking more about how you hold the baby.''Ah,' he said, 'Of course. The secret to holding a baby is to pick it up by the scruff of its neck.''You're thinking of kittens.''Pick it up by the ears, then.''You're thinking of nothing.' 'Can I please just hold her?''I don't think that's wise.' 'A lot of things aren't wise, Melissa. Is crossing the road with your eyes closed wise? No, but I do it anyway.'His wife nodded. 'Stephanie, you are in charge of teaching Alice how to cross the road.”