“Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year.”

“Sometimes we burn and steal and rape and kill and sacrifice, Just to remind ourselves that we're still alive.”

“She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.”

“Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?''She's three months.''She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?”

“Annis had never been a people person, unless ‘people person’ was defined as a person who ate people.”

“Praise for L.E. Edwards' MONSTER LAKE: A(n) entertaining story that kids won't want to put down... a good scary story.”

“Mum said earlier what a lovely dress you’re wearing.”Beryl’s eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. “This?” she said. “But I’ve had this for years.”It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman.“I think you’ve really grown into it,” Valkyrie said.“I always thought it was a little shapeless.”Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant.”