“She tucked a five-dollar bill into my dress strap—like I was a stripper!”

“Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.”

“Hey, big spender,” I said.He looked appreciative but more amused than anything else. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a one dollar bill.“Hugh,” I said. “Don’t insult me.”With a sigh, he produced a five and tucked it underneath my bra strap.“Hey, Seth,” Cody suddenly said.I looked up and saw Seth standing in the doorway. A look of comic bemusement was on his face.“Hey,” he said, studying me. “So…you’re paying for dinner?”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”

“At my bachelor party I had Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper dressed like jet fuel (Rocket Man).”

“I’m not sure if I can write a love poem while it’s still just a prospect pirouetting on the horizon, but when I do find that love, like a five dollar bill resurfacing from folds of denim, you’ll be the first to know.”