“Asshat! You Darth Vadered me!" (Delaney to Rowan)”

“Testosterone poisoning can be fatal, Braveheart." (Delaney to Rowan)”

“Don't ever 'influence' me against my will again, MacLachlan,. Or I will load your balls into my Cuisinart and press 'chop.”

“You can't blame me. I mean that literally. You're incapable of blaming me. You're human. Being human is choosing freedom over imprisonment, autonomy over dependency, liberty over servitude. You can't blame me because you know (come on, man, you've always known) that the idea of spending eternity with nothing to do except praise God is utterly unappealing. You'd be catatonic after an hour. Heaven's a swiz because to get in you have to leave yourself outside. You can't blame me because -- now do please be honest with yourself for once -- you'd have left, too.”

“You have carried a branch of tomorrow into the room-its frangrance awakened me.”

“That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture.""Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?”

“Don't kill me—you fucking cunt.Hot tip. If you're trying to get someone to not kill you, avoid calling him a fucking cunt.”