“You got a problem?""Aside from the fact that we are about to die? No. But I want to say thank you before it is too late.”

“And dear Ajay, the Ozone Destroyer! What can I say, aside from: Thank God you are clearing the hell outta my minivan before the seats melt.”

“No. I just don't want to be a detective. They figure out what happened after the fact, when it's too late. I want to prevent it from happening.”

“Women can say what they want about guys not listening because we are too busy trying to fix the problem. Women are always too busy trying to fix men to ever hear about our problems.”

“I can't believe I'm about to say this," I said. "So think real careful about where this is coming from. Have you people ever considered *talking* when you've got a problem?”

“You’re like Marilyn Monroe,’ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous “Thank You”. Interrupting, he adds, ‘You’re all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because you’re sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say “Hey! This toy is broken!” and toss you aside without feeling bad.”