“Hell, right now my only weapons were Obnoxious and Snark, and I intended to use them whenever possible.”

“I knew the instant Margaret spoke that she intended to use me as a weapon. What you fail to understand is this: I am her weapon to use.”

“Right now, Vee was the only person I could count on. She could be obnoxious, annoying, and lazy, but she never lied to me.”

“I have nine different weapons concealed on my body right now. Would you like to choose the one I use to shoot you in the face? Or should i?”

“I am fluent in snark.Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrumentto smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, “I’M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I’M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!” And even then she’s like, “Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you?”

“Whenever a theory appears to you as the only possible one, take this as a sign that you have neither understood the theory nor the problem which it was intended to solve.”