“I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober.”

“Go to bed, you fool," Calcifer said sleepily. "You're drunk.""Who, me?" said Howl. "I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober." He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him.”

“I am the Eschaton. I am not your God.I am descended from you, and exist in your future.Thou shalt not violate causality within my historic light cone. Or else.”

“I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love.”

“Forgive me, Majesty. I am a vulgar man! But I assure you, my music is not.”

“As I crossed the street, my sister yelled out the window, "Do you want us to bring you a cone?" and I thought, You're so stupid, Roberta, cones melt.”