“When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.”

“I love watching people's faces when i say i live with my daughter and Johnny Depp.”

“lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes.”

“He raised one eyebrow. Infuriatingly. Then he looked me up and down, but not in a meaningful way like Jake used to, more as if i was a horse, which was weird because he hadn't yesterday when i was actually dressed as one.”

“Oh.My. Every illegal swear word in the dictionary, God. What is it with older men? don't they ever look in the mirror?”

“I would have to hide in the jungle and live wild amoung the pandas”

“Daniel Craig is sitting on a carrot, Jude Law is sitting on Daniel Craig's head.”