“If you are a guy full of shit without the gold medal, if you get the gold medal you are still a guy full of shit.”

“Tough guy, if brooding was a sport, you'd have gold medals with scowling faces lining the walls of your room.”

“Brendan's not the guy you use to figure your shit out, Brendan's the guy you hope you get once you have figured your shit out.”

“You know, there's something especially lonely about a gold medal hanging all by itself on a bedroom wall, something that says "fluke," or "beginner's luck," or "one in a million," but two gold medals, now that says something completely different. That says, "Oh, yeah, baby, this is the real deal!”

“Gold medals aren't really made of gold. They're made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.”

“Get them to vow on whatever geek shit you guys hold sacred”

“I gather you yellow-skinned men, despite your triumphs in sewage, drinking water, and Olympic gold medals, still don't have democracy. Some politician on the radio was saying that that's why we Indian are going to beat you: we may not have sewage, drinking water, and Olympic gold medals, but we do have democracy.If I were making a country, I'd get the sewage pipes first, then the democracy, then I'd go about giving pamphlets and statues of Gandhi to other people, but what do I know? I am just a murderer!”