“It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.”

“I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels and tight skirts, and, boy, she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Momma used to say, "Aw, she's just trash," and I thought, That's what I want to be when I grow up. Trash.”

“If you talk bad about country music, it's like saying bad things about my momma. Them's fightin' words”

“Its hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.”

“Wouldn't it be something if we could have things we love in abudance without their losing that special attraction the want of them held for us.”

“They think I’m simpleminded because I seem to be happy. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I have everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe I am simpleminded. Maybe that’s the key: simple.”

“I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”