“.EXcuses are like male mipples. They're completely useless.”

Don Calame

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Quote by Don Calame: “.EXcuses are like male mipples. They're complete… - Image 1

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“Excuses are like male nipples. They're completely useless.”


“Oh, by the way," Coop announces as he weaves his DeathBot ship through a barrage of space debris on his laptop screen. "In case you didn't know. It's national 'That's What She Said' Day."I give him a thumbs-up. "I like it."We're camping out in Sean's backyard tonight. It's another one of our traditions. One night, every summer, we buy a ton of junk food and energy drinks and set up Sean's six-person tent in the far corner of his yard.We've got an extension cord running from the garage so that we can rough it in style, with computers and a TV and DVD player. There's a citronella candle burning in the middle of the tent to ward off mosquitoes and to mask the thick stink of mildew. Everyone's brought sleeping bags and pillows, but we aren't planning on logging too many Zs.Sean enters the tent carrying his Xbox. "I don't think there are enough sockets for all of these."I waggle my eyebrows at Coop. "That's what she said."Coop busts up.Sean stands there, looking confused. "I don't get it.""That's what she says," Coop says, sending him and me into hysterics.Sean sighs and puts the Xbox down. "I can see this is going to be a long night.""That's what she said," me and Coop howl in chorus."Are you guys done yet?"Coop is practically in tears. "That's what she said.""Okay. I'll just keep my mouth shut," Sean grumbles."That's what she said." I can barely talk I'm laughing so hard."Enough. No more. My cheeks hurt," Coop says, rubbing his face.I point at him. "That's what she said."And with that, the three of us fall over in fits."Oh, man, now look what you made me do."Coop motions to his computer. "That was my last DeathBot ship.""That's what she said," Sean blurts out, laughing at his nonsensical joke.Coop and I stare at him, and then silmultaniously, we hit Sean in the face with our pillows.”


“...The Things we do not want to speak abot are the very things we need to speak about most”


“In the old days, words like sin and Satan had a moral certitude. Today, they're replaced with self-help jargon, words like dysfunction and antisocial behavior, discouraging any responsibility for one's actions..”


“These were the things that built the world. Not to know or care about them was a betrayal of fundamental principles, a betrayal of gender, of species. What could be more useless than a man who couldn't fix a dripping faucet—fundamentally useless, dead to history, to the messages in his genes? I wasn't sure I disagreed.”


“Let's examine the nature of the beast, so to speak. The male animal. Isn't there a fund, a pool, a reservoir of potential violence in the male psyche?… Isn't there a deep field, a sort of crude oil deposit that one might tap if and when the occasion warrants? A great dark lake of male rage. ... Isn't there a sludgy region you'd rather not know about? A remnant of some prehistoric period when dinosaurs roamed the earth and men fought with flint tools? When to kill was to live? ... Only your code allows you to enter the system.”