“Where's the fun in playing with knives if you can't draw a little blood?”

“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

“Can't you just read the directions?”“I could if I wasn't fueled by testosterone and stupidity, but where's the fun in that?”

“Where's the fun in fucking if the fucker can't slam the fuckee into a wall or two?”

“Do you ever do that thing where you lie in bed and you can't sleep so you end up writing out recent conversation you've had? So they look like a play?'Well you should. It's fun. I keep them. Look through them, sometimes.”

“You can't outwit fate by standing on the sidelines placing little sidebets about the outcome of life. either you wade in and risk everything you have to play the game or you don't play at all. and if u don't play u can't win.”