“A lot of people get the wrong impression, think there's something romantic or tragic about hitting bottom.”

“If you hit bottom, there's a whole lot of people here to help you up”

“Whenever there's something wrong with your writing, suspect that there's something wrong with your thinking.”

“Don't you think baby corns are scary? There's just something wrong about their midget bodies.”

“There's always two ways of looking at things... that seeing what's positive about a situation is a lot more fun and gets you a lot further than looking for what might be wrong with it.”

“We get a lot of the sky is falling on the weather reports, so when something big does hit, people never expect it. If it's not as bad as the reports predicted, we complain. If it's worse than expected, we complain. If it's just as bad as predicted, we complain about that, too, because we'll say that the reports are wrong so often, there was no way to know they'd be right this time. It just gives people something to complain about.”