“A good romance novel is like a bubble bath...steamy, relaxing, and over way too soon.”

“Life isn't a romance novel. The truth is, the reason romance novels sell so well ---- the reason why everyone loves them ---- is because no one's life is actually like that. Everyone WANTS their life to be like that.”

“You mustn’t hit her over the head with it. Women like to be romanced like the heroines in the sensation novels.” “What the devil do you know about sensation novels?” “A man can learn a great deal about women from novels,” Matt said. “You should try it sometime.”

“But you can't muscle through a five-hour run that way; you have to relax into it like easing your body into a hot bath, until it no longer resists the shock and begins to enjoy it.”

“A reaper in a bubble bath? What an affront to the dignity of death.”

“How could she be sorry about losing her virginity in a romance-novel way on a sunset sail?”