“If television's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.”
“Librarians! Librarians always know how to find out things. That was their job even before the Internet.”
“Everyone on the Internet is talking about television and everyone on television is talking about the Internet. The whole damn thing is a self-licking ice cream cone and you're blaming me?”
“Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.”
“Back before the internet we had a name for people who bought a single copy of our books and lent them to all their friends without charging: we called them "librarians".”
“Shut up. I'm drunk and I'm trying to confess, so just let me do it, okay?”