“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”

“This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today.”

“living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts”

“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

“I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting. ”

“She's wearing a tight red sweater and a red skirt and enough makeup to scare a hooker.”