“It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.”

“If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.”

“They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good.”

“I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.”

“Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.”