“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

“I think that I shall never knowWhy I am thus, and I am so.Around me, other girls inspireIn men the rush and roar of fire,The sweet transparency of glass,The tenderness of April grass,The durability of granite;But me- I don't know how to plan it.The lads I've met in Cupid's deadlockWere- shall we say?- born out of wedlock.They broke my heart, they stilled my song,And said they had to run along,Explaining, so to sop my tears,First came their parents or careers.But ever does experienceDeny me wisdom, calm, and sense!Though she's a fool who seeks to captureThe twenty-first fine, careless rapture,I must go on, till ends my rope,Who from my birth was cursed with hope.A heart in half is chaste, archaic;But mine resembles a mosaic-The thing's become ridiculous!Why am I so? Why am I thus?”

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”

“Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter.”

“Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.”

“Travel, trouble, music, art, a kiss, a frock, a rhyme --I never said they feed my heart, but still they pass my time.”

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”