“There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
“Life doesn’t make sense. It’s against the law for somebody to steal your bike but apparently it doesn’t matter if somebody tries to steal your best friend. Well you can always get a new bike. But how do you replace a best friend”
“[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
“Funny way to spend your life, though, studying another chap's versifying.”
“College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?”
“No matter how good somebody's life looks from the outside, you can be sure there's something about it you wouldn't want to have in your life.”