“Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.”

“Perhaps in the end, it should be left alone as a reminder that life isn't perfect, but even with it's imperfections it is worthwhile and enjoyable. Wouldn't it be great if more people thought that?”

“I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the markWhen he made Pearl Harbor. I miss you more than that movie missed the pointAnd that's an awful lot, girl. And now, now you've gone awayAnd all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting schoolHe was terrible in that film. I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger partHe's way better than Ben Affleck. And now, all I can think about is your smileand that shitty movie, too. Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? I guess Pearl Harbor suckedjust a little bit more than I miss you.”

“When Fortuna spins you downward, go out to a movie and get more out of life.”

“My life sucks when I’m only half-aware of it. If I quit drinking and saw what it’s really like, I’d probably jump off a bridge.”

“And just so you know—that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you’re going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right.”