“He felt intact but worthless, like a chocolate rabbit selling for 75 percent off the month after Easter.”

“The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.”

“So?” I asked Vee. “What’s the verdict?”“The verdict? My doctor is a lard-arse. Closely resembles an Oompa-Loompa. Don’t give me your severe look. Last time he came in, he broke into the Funky Chicken. And he’s forever eating chocolate. Mostly chocolate animals. You know the solid chocolate bunnies they’re selling for Easter? That’s what the Oompa-Loompa ate for dinner. Had a chocolate duck at lunch with a side of yellow Peeps.”

“Some postdivorce statistics:* James saw the children 75 percent less than before.* He missed 85 percent of their afterschool woes.* He was absent for 99 percent of their family dinners.Screw statistics. ONe hundred percent of Charlotte's marriage had ended in divorce, and for her, that was the only number that meant anything at all.”

“So this chocolate princess. Her knight in shining armor is the Easter Bunny.”

“USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.”