“Here's my theory about meetings and life: the three things you can't fake are erections, competence and creativity.”

“The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't.”

“I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.”

“I can't spend the rest of my life competing for your attention and coming in last.”

“How can I compete,when I know our lips will never meet?I can't show you that we might just make fireworks in the middle of december....Three years from now someone will say my name and I hope we'll have a love story you can remember...Hang up your shoes and settle down before time passes you. Let me show you honey, that life is beautiful not with one, but two <3”

“Processions, meetings, military parades, lectures, waxwork displays, film shows, telescreen programs all had to be organized; stands had to be erected, effigies built, slogans coined, songs written, rumours circulated, photographs faked.”