“What is that?" Dad said, looking at the doll."It’s called the Scream," I said."I know that, but what us it?” Dad said.“Maybe she sleeps with it,” I said to Dad as he tucked it under his arm.“Then no wonder it’s screaming,” he said.”

“I went to outer space,” I said, “But I didn’t like it.”

“Careful, Edmund,” I said. “She eats guys for breakfast.”“Should I pour milk on meself?” Edmund asked me, and grinned.”

“But the only game she wanted to play was Kidnapper, where she tied me up and left me in my own tree house for about twelve hours, until Dad climbed up and got me down. Why hadn’t I at least called for help? I had. But no one had heard me. Probably because of the gag in my mouth.”

“I'd heard of Vlad Dracul, but only the name. The kids at Cotton Maher never said much except things like "The football team's up against Vlad this Saturday. Pray for them." When I'd heard that, I'd asked the kid who'd said it what the big deal was. "Shut up," he'd explained.”

“They had to swing by Jared’s locker so he could grab his jacket. “A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?”“Nah,” said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.”“That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?”“I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.”“It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles.”

“What the hell is going on?" demanded Kami's dad, advancing with his black eyes snapping. Jared blurted, "My intentions are honourable."Kami sat up straight in her bed and stared in Jared's direction. "Are you completely crazy?" she wanted to know. "This isn't the eighteenth century. How do you think that's going to help?""Well, I mean," Jared said, back against the wall like a cornered animal. "When we're older. I mean-""Please shut up," Kami begged."I agree with Kami," said Dad. "When you're in an abyss-like hole, quit digging.”