“You know, in the real world, there are people who are not actually Kantians....there are even Utilitarians.”

“I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.”

“Now, you should admit it: you are here engaged in some military action directed against the Yuuzhan Vong, knowing full well that any action you take could embroil the people of this peaceful world in your destructive war.""Isn't destructive war kind of redundant? Until I see a constructive war, or even a giggly war, I have to think so."Mudlath & Han”

“We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined, 25 of whom are allies. Now none of this is the fault of 20 year old college student, but you nonetheless are without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever period, so when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world I don't know what the f^&k you're talking about.”

“An English major is like being in a book club that costs $40,000 a year, has only annoying people in it, offers no refreshments at the meetings, and where people actually read the books.”

“If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.(Isaac Jaffe, Sports Night)”

“Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them.”