“Don't bother. The glass is half-empty.”
“The glass is not half empty; it is half full.”
“When a glass sits on a table here, people don't wonder if it's half filled or half empty. They just hope it's good beer.”
“Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.”
“Half full, half empty - it doesn't matter. It's the same glass of water.”
“The glass is neither half full or half empty but merely too large for the contents.”