“Denial-it's the glue barely holding millions of American families together.”

“For God sake, quirky isn't something you date; it's something you make fun of until it totally loses it, runs to its bedroom, throws itself face down on its Barbie comforter, and sobs into its diary about how everyone's so mean.”

“For once I'd like to be human wallpaper.”

“American Empire- it is an empire that lacks the drive to export its capital, its people and its culture to those backward regions which need them most urgently and which, if they are neglected, will breed the greatest threats to its security. It is an empire, in short, that dare not speak its name. It is an empire in denial.”

“Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.”

“I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”

“If good stuff happened to us until we died it wouldn't be called Life. It would be called Great.”