“One of the problems, and it's one which is obviously going to get worse, is that all the people at the party are either the children or the grandchildren or the great-grandchildren of the people who wouldn't leave in the first place, and because of all the business about selective breeding and regressive genes and so on, it means that all the people now at the party are either absolutely fanatical partygoers, or gibbering idiots, or, more and more frequently, both.”

“He spent a lot of time flying.He learnt to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wing spans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Unfortunately, he discovered, once you have learnt birdspeak you quickly come to realize that the air is full of it the whole time, just inane bird chatter. There is no getting away from it.”

“They've discovered how to turn excess body fat into gold," he said, in a sudden blur of coherence."You're kidding.""Oh yes," he said, "no," he corrected himself, "they have."He rounded on the doubting part of his audience, which was all of it, and so it took a little while to round on it completely."Have you been to California?" he demanded. "Do you know the sort of stuff they do there?"Three members of his audience said they had and that he was talking nonsense."You haven't seen anything," insisted Arthur. "Oh yes," he added, because someone was offering to buy another round.”

“Как да напуснем планетата:1. Обадете се на НАСА.Номерът им е (713) 493 - 3111.Обяснете им,че се налага да се махнете спешно оттук.2. Ако откажат да съдействат,обадете се на някой познат в Белия дом - (202) 456 - 1414 - да бутне едно рамо при момчетата от НАСА.3. Ако нямате познати в Белия дом,обадете се в Кремъл (поискайте международен разговор с (0107 - 095 - 295 - 9051).Те и те нямат приятели в НАСА(поне не такива,които да си струват обсъждането),но май имат известно влияние,така че пробвайте.5. Ако и това не стане,поискайте съвет от папата.Телефонът му е (011 - 39 - 6 - 6982) и ,доколото знам, телефонната му централа е безотказна.6. Ако всичките ви опити пропаднат,стопирайте някоя летяща чиния и им обяснете,че трябва на всяка цена да се махнете преди да е дошла сметката ви за телефон”

“If it was my business, I wouldn't talk about it. It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbroker's do that, and then merely at dinner parties.”

“To get into the best society, nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people - that is all!”

“I turned down Halloween parties every year, where people wanted zombies raised at the stroke of midnight or some such nonsense. The scarier my reputation got, the more people wanted me to come be scary for them. I'd told Bert I could always go and threaten to shoot all the partygoers, that'd be scary. Bert had not been amused. But he had stopped asking me to do parties.”