“I say, thirteen is too many dogs for good mental health. Five is pretty much the limit. More than five dogs and you forfeit your right to call yourself entirely sane.Even if the dogs are small.”

“How was I supposed to concentrate on my mental health when my therapist was encased in orange sparkle madness?”

“There's something about seeing a guy's feelings written down, something about him taking that risk and committing that heart to paper, that means so much more than anything he could just say.”

“You think Tide is better, or All?''Which has a prettier box?' I ask.'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.'Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.''Yes, I do.''Good luck with that.”

“Sometimes it's a good idea to think about what you want from a situation, and try to get it, rather than just blurt out the first thing that comes into your head.”

“Do not think about guys who have broken your heart six ways. It is mentally deranged to chase after heartbreak.”

“By now, you know everything about Jackson Clarke, probably way more than anyone on earth wants to hear. This is all I have to add: I still think about him every day. When I see him, my heart jumps up in my chest. I long for him to talk to me, and whenever he even says hello, I feel a thousand times worse than I did before. I wish he was dead. I wish he still liked me.”