“A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.”

“Nowadays people can be divided into three classes - the haves the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.”

“If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.”

“Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.”

“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

“One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.”

“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.”