“If somebody doesn't like you, there's nothing you can do to make that person like you.”

“All people imitate their creations. Today's fashions imitate our principal creations, which are electronic. Women imitate light bulbs or TV sets; their clothes glow, their hair is luminous. They radiate. They can be turned on and off.”

“.....It's funny, but your parents can give you everything in the world, but they can't teach you what to do with it. That, you have to learn for yourself.”

“You exert a certain degree of influence, and be it ever so small, it affects some person or persons, and for the results of the influence you exert you are held accountable. You, therefore, whether you acknowledge it or not, have assumed an importance before God and man that cannot be overlooked. ”

“If all you do is sit and read, all you get is smart and soft.”

“When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”

“When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail.”