“In my twenties if even a tenth reading of Mallarmé failed to yield up its treasures, the fault was mine, not his. If my eyes swooned shut while I read The Sweet Cheat Gone, Proust’s pacing was never called into question, just my intelligence and dedication and sensitivity. And I still entertain these sacralizing preconceptions about high art. I still admire what is difficult, though I now recognize it as a “period” taste and that my generation was the last to give a damn. Though we were atheists, we were, strangely enough, preparing ourselves for God’s great Quiz Show; we had to know everything because we were convinced we would be tested on it—in our next life.”

Edmund White
Life Neutral

Explore This Quote Further

Quote by Edmund White: “In my twenties if even a tenth reading of Mallar… - Image 1

Similar quotes

“I was aware of the treacherous air vents above us, conducting the sounds we were making upstairs. Maybe dad was listening. Or maybe, just like Kevin, he was unaware of anything but the pleasure spurting up out of his body and into mine.”


“There was something stubborn in me that didn't want to lose weight to attract a man. If the right man came along, he'd be able to see my virtues magically. Once he kissed me, the frog would turn into a prince. I had become a trick question, a heavy disguise, but behind the disobliging exterior was the welcoming child I would always be. Of course, what I'd forgotten was that he was not Parsifal and I was not the Grail; the medievalism of my imagination was not sufficiently up-to-date to recognize that the lover was a shopper and I a product.”


“At every moment I convinced myself that I was gathering material for the novel of my life - all experienced from the philosophical distance of the author. Even these humiliating occasions when I was robbed could be used as material. Life was a field trip. ”


“When we are young... we often experience things in the present with a nostalgia-in-advance, but we seldom guess what we will truly prize years from now.”


“Heaven and hell,your hands are cold.""I never thought I'd prefer the dead silence of the Paths over anything,but it had to be better than listening to this idiot. And I didn't need any reminders that my hands were cold. Cold,mortal,dying hands. "Can we not talk?""But you're such a charming conversationalist. Still,if you'd prefer to simply bask in the glory of my company, I understand. You're probably overwhelmed by holding my hand and want to enjoy the moment."I rolled my eyes. "It's all I can do not to swoon,but I'll try to contain myself.""I think swooning is highly underrated. You could bring it back into vogue."I turned my head to look at him rather than focus on the inky black around us. It was like people on the Paths existed outside anything else.Jack and I were the only two creatures alive,for all you could tell.What a horrible thought."Where on earth did you come from?" I asked.He grinned,but there was a strange tightness to his face. "Telling that story would require talking,which I seem to recall you requested not happen.And here we are!" With a flourish he waved a hand-at nothing.”


“Sometimes I have the feeling that we're in one room with two opposite doors and each of us holds the handle of one door, one of us flicks an eyelash and the other is already behind his door, and now the first one has but to utter a word ad immediately the second one has closed his door behind him and can no longer be seen. He's sure to open the door again for it's a room which perhaps one cannot leave. If only the first one were not precisely like the second, if he were calm, if he would only pretend not to look at the other, if he slowly set the room in order as though it were a room like any other; but instead he does exactly the same as the other at his door, sometimes even both are behind the doors and the the beautiful room is empty." Franz Kafka (in a letter to Milena Jesenska)”