“I never go to weddings. Waste of time. Person can get married a dozen times. Lots of folks do. Family like ours, know everybody in the state of Texas and around outside, why, you could spend your life going to weddings. But a funeral, that's different. You only die once.”

“You are thirty minutes late.""Yes.""Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?""No.""Why not, pray tell?""Well, if the funeral was mine I'd have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.”

“The only thing that will make it possible for you to marry is if you meet your bridegroom on your wedding day, so he doesn't have the chance to get to know you ahead of time.”

“If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you'll spend your life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing thing you don't like doing, which is stupid.”

“Katie's mum, Penny, said "I don't know why you're wasting your time with him. If he's forty-two and never been married, he's hardly likely to get married now."And Katie's sister Naomi had the darkest prediction. "He'll make mincemeat of you."He won't," Katie protested. "I'm not going to fall for him."So why are you bothering at all?"Just killing time until I die.”

“A toast at your wedding, perhaps?” said Eldric. “I shall never get married,” I said. “But I do like champagne.”