“As to the charge that I am a cranky old man, I plead guilty.”

“Hollering at the top of his voice, a little boy walks by a cranky old man. "Boy, why are you a hollering as I walk by?" The little boy replies, "Old man, why are you walking by when I am a hollering.”

“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.""Not guilty.""Also, it's not very nice to lie in court.""But it beats extradition.”

“So what if I'm ninety-three? So what if I'm ancient and cranky and my body's a wreck? If they're willing to accept me and my guilty conscience, why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus? It's like Charlie told the cop. For this old man, this is home.”

“I might be old and cranky, but I'm not bloody stupid.”

“Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.”