“I need a kid like I need a bad heart. A pretty kid is a ticket to trouble... and I'm too old to ask for that. Shit, I haven't even booked Tommy the Face in two years. I'm turning into a jack-off idiot.”

“It's too late. Seventeen-year-olds don't need fathers.Oh god. I'm thirty-four years old and I need a father. I can't even begin to think what my daughter needs.”

“My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.Am I a troubled kid?Yeah. You could say that.”

“I'm just a regular 16 year old kid. I make good grilled cheese and I like girls.”

“No, I'm not in a bad mood. Why do you ask? You think I need to be in a bad mood to let you know I think you're an idiot?”

“That's another thing that doesn't turn me off, sweetheart, knowin' that you come with those kids and you need to know that. You also need to know I want kids of my own, two of them. But I don't care, if this works out between me and you, that the kids we have will have an older brother and sister that don't have my blood, just my heart.”