“A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.B is for Basil assaulted by bears.C is for Clara who wasted away.D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.G is for George smothered under a rug.H is for Hector done in by a thug.I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.J is for James who took lye by mistake.K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.L is for Leo who choked on some tacks.M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.N is for Neville who died of ennui.O is for Olive run through with an awl.P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.Q is for Quentin who sank on a mire.R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.S is for Susan who perished of fits.T is for Titus who flew into bits.U is for Una who slipped down a drain.V is for Victor squashed under a train.W is for Winnie embedded in ice.X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.Y is for Yorick whose head was bashed in.Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.”
“Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.”
“You?' is all I can manage to choke out.'Always me,' she replies softly, bashfully. 'Who else?”
“In essence, we’re their servants who help them and who guard them from the public. (Leo)Oh gee, golly, goodie, Mr. Leo! Can I have my eyes gouged out, too? (Susan)”
“The English language is under assault by stupid people who use words they don't understand, and is defended by pompous asses who like to correct those people. We're not sure who to side with.”
“Everyone just wasting time because they have so much of it to waste, minutes slipping by on who's with who and did you hear.”