“Not me, of course, as I am now officially a spinster librarian and must stay home with my cat and drink tea.”

“Of course it's alright for librarians to smell of drink.”

“My father had coats the way old spinsters have cats.”

“Now, in this blank of things, a harmony,Home-felt, and home-created,comes to healThat grief for which the senses still supply Fresh food; for only then, when memoryIs hushed, am I at rest. My Friends! restrain those busy cares that would allay my pain;Oh! Leave me to myself, nor let me feelThe officious touch that makes me droop again.”

“One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.”

“Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.”