“Perhaps this is why lunatics have a harder time dating, not because they are off the wall but because it is hard to find soemone who is willing to date so many people in one person.”

“Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures; figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.”

“I'm probably the only person on earth who had to be committed to a mental hospital to find a date.”

“Dates are important in history because what is done on those dates is of importance”

“It's easy to remember, because dating rhymes with mating, and they're almost the same [...] So your mom thinks we're ma-- Uh, dating?”

“You're my world. I want everyone to know. I don't know how to date so I never even thought of taking you on a date. But I can promise you right now... I will be taking you on so many damn dates that there won't be a person in this town who doesn't know I worship the ground you walk on.”