“Somehow when you see a politician kiss a baby, shake a hand -- kiss anything -- it is tainted.”

“I am a politician which means I am a liar and a crook. When I am not kissing babies I am stealing their lollypops.”

“The moment my lips touch yours, it will be your first kiss. Because if you've never felt anything when someone's kissed you, then no one's ever really kissed you. Not the way I plan on kissing you.”

“She won't reveal your secret handshake.""It's not my handshake I'm worried about.""Pretend it is.Because as far as I'm concerned,thats all the two of you do. Shake hands.Even if I see you kissing? In my head,I'm going to tell myself that you're shaking hands.”

“I never read the paper myself. Why bother? It's the same old shit day in and day out, dictators beating the ching-chong out of people weaker than they are, men in uniforms beating the ching-chong out of soccer balls or footballs, politicians kissing babies and kissing ass.”

“I am sentimental,’ she said. ‘I could dissect a koala but not its baby. I like the words damozel, eglantine, elegant. I love when you kiss my elongated white hand.”