“There should be a phone service, I thought, something like 1-800-MEDIUM-1.Where an automated voice would direct you. Press one if an object in your home is levitating. Press two if there is ectoplasm oozing out of your walls. Press three if spirits are disrupting your cable service. Press four if you've inherited your mother's psychic abilities.”

Elizabeth Cody Kimmel

Elizabeth Cody Kimmel - “There should be a phone...” 1

Similar quotes

“Whereas God, for reasons of His own, sometimes chooses to let the machine answer. The Supreme Being is unavailable to come to the phone at this time, but He wants you to know what your call is important to Him. In the meantime, for sins of pride, press one. For avarice, press two...”

Richard Russo
Read more

“You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.”

Charlaine Harris
Read more

“You've reached Fangtasia, where the undead live again every night...For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to a live person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you." -Pam”

Charlaine Harris
Read more

“Passion: "Your profile ought to be pressed upon a coin."Mark: "Your body ought to be pressed upon mine.”

Lisa Valdez
Read more

“I want to be sitting in front of my computer, where you can press a button to block out your junk mail. These two are my junk mail.”

Melina Marchetta
Read more