“I look at the hundreds of algebra problems facing me in the next three days.And here I thought I’d figured out the equation to my happiness.”

“If I’d had any doubts about how Archer felt about me, they were eradicated when I saw the look on his face. I’d never had my spleen ripped out, but if I had, I figured I’d make the same face Archer wore now.”

“Looks to me like it sorted itself out. The girl’s been laid, my guess, fairly recently, guessin’ again, good and proper. Next problem!” I closed my eyes. Someone, please tell me that Shirleen didn’t just announce to the entire store that I’d been laid “good and proper”

“Something about the look on her face makes me feel like a meal. And if I were, I’d be a happy meal, for sure.”

“I thought I could change the world. It took me a hundred years to figure out I can't change the world. I can only change Bessie. And honey, that ain't easy either.”

“Dear friends, he began, there is no timetable for happiness; it moves, I think, according to rules of its own. When I was a boy I thought I’d be happy tomorrow, as a young man I thought it would be next week; last month I thought it would be never. Today, I know it is now.”