“I'm so excited about school. I'm such a shameless student. I laid my clothes out lastnight, just like I did before my first day of first grade, with mypatent leather shoes and my new lunch box. I hope the teacher will likeme :)”

“You know how some kids get excited about the first day of school and have an outfit all picked out and a new lunch box and stuff? Well, they're bleeping idiots.Can we play hooky?" Iggy muttered as he scrambled eggs.Somehow I suspect they're picky about that," I said, dropping more bread into the toaster. "I bet they'd call Anne."I look like prep school Barbie," Nudge complained, as she entered the kitchen. She caught sight of me in my uniform and looked mollified. "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend."I narrowed my eyes at her.”

“When I was in the third grade, I did my very best to fail every class so that the kids would like me and stop calling me a teacher's pet. It did not work out for me, though. My best attempts at failure in school garnered me an A- at best, and at my worst, I won awards for being the student of the month. -Mackenzie”

“Definitely beats my first kiss. Seventh grade, Andrea Williams, behind the gym after school. She came over to my table at lunch, whispered the proposition in my ear, and I had a hard-on for the rest of the day.”

“It felt like we were reliving the first day of the school year, when students and teachers do the get-to-know-you dance—teachers tell students something about who they are, students pretend to care, and then vice-versa.”

“Some days it just feels like I'm here for the shoes and the eternal hope that I shall be issued minions.”