“Men don't know when to stop, she's told me over and over. Youhave to cut them off or they'll eat 'til their bellies ache—just like ababy or Mr. Davis's dog.I figure all this sweet, cutesy stuff works about the same asdessert—except if you don't cut them off from the cutesy stuffyou end up with a whole different kind of tummy ache. At any rate,I'm pretty sure Logan Kilgore doesn't know when to quit. Casein point, Barney Fife and the speeding ticket debacle.”

“I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off.”

“News flash: The whole thing is a huge mess and a giant nightmare and it’s all about to explode in your face and you have no idea whatyou’ve gotten yourself into. Love is no game. People cut their ears off over this stuff. People jump off the Eiffel Tower and sell all theirpossessions and move to Alaska to live with the grizzly bears, and then they get eaten and nobody hears them when they scream for help.That’s right. Falling in love is pretty much the same thing as being eaten alive by a grizzly bear.Believe me, I should know.”

“Another thing I've been trying to do on my walks is to know what I'm looking at, when I'm looking at it. I want to be smart. When I walk down the sidewalk I see about a hundred different kinds of bugs and all I do is point at them like a caveman and say 'Ugh, look, a bug,' but I know each one of them must have a different name and a different reason why and how it came to be on the planet, and I don't know any of that stuff.”

“Love is no game. People cut their ears off over this stuff. People jump off the Eiffel Tower and sell all their possessions and move to Alaska to live with the grizzly bears, and then they get eaten and nobody hears them when they scream for help. That’s right. Falling in love is pretty much the same thing as being eaten alive by a grizzly bear.”

“Why don't they cut their own children's ears into points to make them look sharp? Why don't they cut off their noses to make them look plucky? One would be just as sensible as the other. What right have they to torment and disfigure God's creatures?”