“Can't you ever stop joking?""No, why should I? Laughter is one of the two things that make life worthwhile. Aren't you going to ask what the other one is?”

“It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?”

“Aren't you curious? When did it stop working? Why did it stop working? Did we bring out the worst in each other? Was it just one persons fault or both of us? Aren't these questions everyone wants to ask when they split up with someone?”

“Each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure, and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective ways of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that. They just accept it, the way typists accepted the fact that the QWERTY keyboard was the best possible one. Have you ever met anyone is your entire life who asked why the hands of a clock should go in one particular direction and not the other?”

“They (penguins) then fall madly in love and live happily ever after.-And so you ask yourself: "If a penguin can have a worthwhile, stimulating relationship, why the hell can't I?"-Or maybe you ask yourself: "Would I be happier if I started dating a penguin”

“Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.”