“Do I want to, can I face my own pain alone now? Shock keeps horror at bay. Hands off. Distanced by mist and pride and drink and friends and necessities like food, babies, fires... So the pain sits still, crouching, heavy, occupying all my inside, always, all the time, whatever my outside does.”

“Make sure you do not have friends otherwise you have to keep them at bay.""You was my friend too!"The brow of the young side stood up with surprise and he darkened even more. His eyes stole fire."Now I'm not?""I do not know anymore what you are!" I admitted with pain. Gods and Guardians”

“I'm gonna sit alone in a quiet room and cry until I cant cry no more. I am tired of all the pain inside and I am tired of all the tears falling from my eyes.”

“Now it is as if I remember my grief rather than experience it. I remember the pain I suffered as the memories washed over me where I sat on the deck that day. Now I have only the memories of my own feelings, not the feelings themselves. That day the feelings were still alive, the pain real. Now I look back and I can see every detail but I am not there, inside it. My own pain is now forever calcified. I carry it with me, but it is no longer alive. (10)”

“I'll lock my heart away deeper ..if I do that ..I won't have to feel pain outside or inside .. or the fear I won't have to feel anything at all !”

“Inside my head I carry:my baby goat, my baby brother, my ama's face, our family's future. My bundle is light. My burden is heavy.”