“I was leaving nothing to chance, and literally refused to be caught unarmed with my pants down.”

“I tried to think of a good reason as to why I had a sex book down my pants, but my brain refused to work.”

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”

“I almost shat my pants. Literally, the floor was almost covered in my shat.”

“I had lied so much lately that I was honestly surprised my pants weren't literally made of fire.”

“Tighe took control of his thoughts.“You need to use the bathroom. When I tell you to, go into the house. Two cats will try to comein with you. You must let them in. Don’t allow anyone to stop them. Once inside the house, you’llgo into the bathroom and close the door, pull down your pants, then curl up on the floor and go tosleep.”The bastard’s career would be over when they caught him, literally, with his pants down. But hedeserved it for kicking a cat.”